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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?